I discuss the role of gaming in our lives: can it play an important role; can gaming have a useful purpose? Here at Cadred we encourage love and bonding - Join the discussion, voice your opinions or comment on those of others.

This column is the sole opinion of the author and does not represent the opinion of Heaven Media Ltd or the opinion of any affiliates.

Many men go fishing all of their lives never knowing it is not the fish they are after. What are we after? What is an average gamer after? The world of e-Sports has had a few purposes in the past, most of which involved exploitation of not only the world, but also of its citizens and affiliates, by the 'rich', 'passionate' investors, who 'were there to help'.

Many missed studying, skipped classes and pulled 'sickies', just to play. Was there some deeper meaning to e-Sports, then? Haunted by the ghosts of my past, I analyzed the purpose of gaming.

The analysis starts with reminiscence of the past. Several years ago I played America's Army competitively, taking part in the happenings within the NA scene of the game. When I first started playing I focused primarily on improving my own game. After around six weeks I felt ready for my first clan – the War Force Clan, or =WFC=. At the time it was the biggest clan, with over 200 members, with divisions in over 15 different games and a ranking system based on the actual military ranking used in the U.S. 'The HQ', or the important staff members, were rednecks, sometimes drunks, and often old men in what seemed like the male equivalent of menopause. The clan had several teams in AA, each consisting out of about 12 members and referred to as a “squad”. The squads were named in the military tradition – Alpha, Beta, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Gamma, etc. Needless to say, =WFC= was filled with keeners and no-lifers, and I was going to become one of them. After passing my trial – during which I was tagged as “=WFCr=Red” as I was a recruit – I was put into the Echo squad. I became =WFC=Pvt.Red[E], a keen pub player at the very bottom of the game's food chain; I had no idea of this.

The ranking soon meant everything to me. After the Recruiting Officer told me about 'field promotion', which is when you get promoted for example mid-game or in a very short period of time, I was out for that field promotion, like a proud, keen no-lifer that I became. Gaining 'value' within the clan – or increasing my rank – was of the highest priority to me; it gave gaming a significance.

Continuing my quest for value and importance, I met a certain “joSh”, or Joshua Mugrage – a very skilled player – surprisingly – among those from the very bottom of the game's food chain. The guy dominated every pub-server, yelled catchy slogans left and right and was basically the Buzz Lightyear of AA, at least to most 'pub-srubs'; as was the case with me. We held matches on one of our private servers – we had around a dozen – and the teams usually consisted out of six-eight players each. I always wanted to be on Josh's team, but I never ended up on my favored side. What I did instead is focus on killing only one player – Josh. Imitating and emulating him seemed like a good idea, as he was the best player I had ever seen. I watched him take down my entire team, one by one. Amazing shots, phenomenal grenade throws and a great show-off. I learning his plays, his moves and his way of thinking. Soon I was the only person to take him down, every single round. I memorized his positioning and I placed myself in tricky corners; I was ready for his every move. He was enraged about “that one kid who keeps killing me”, but I felt good.

The raven above the door to e-Sports, questioning the purpose of it all.

Consistently catching him off-guard and imitating his moves was difficult, seeing as my ping averaged between 180-200, which made everything very difficult. Luckily, I was extremely keen and I taught myself how to lead-shoot, or predict where the target actually is based on my ping. Soon I became good, and later Josh accepted me and took me under his wing.

I followed his teachings like a crazy bible-fanatic; attempting to emulate his every move. Gaining a few ranks – via field promotions – and becoming known as one of the better skilled players, I was allowed to occasionally play in competitive matches in TWL; of which Josh always was the captain.

Each day I became better, staying up until 5-6 in the morning – due to time differences – and often taking my R&R at school, during the lessons, recess or while in detention because I'd forgotten to call in sick. Soon my fellow team-mates began to accuse me of cheating, both in pubs and competitive matches. The accusations were honestly laughable to me, because I knew what I was doing and I knew that it was no coincidence; the high ping wasn't a handicap either.

In the end, Josh left =WFC= to form a new team, filled with skilled people who were going to pillage the leagues, ladders, events and cups. Personally I wasn't too happy, albeit I felt fine because I gained a certain reputation within the clan – the mysterious player, was he skilled or was he just a cheater? Josh always gave me the benefit of the doubt, albeit others never agreed with him. The shenanigans soon became ridiculous, people went bat-shit crazy and I eventually got kicked out of the clan – for hacking. The most ironic thing is that I was a patriot of =WFC= throughout my entire 'gaming career', despite the allegations that all the important leaders cheated and hid it... The allegations turned out to be true after all, as I a little bird told me later.

Homeless is how I felt. It was shit, things were very shitty for me. On the other side, gaming lost its old significance and took a new one – being better than those around me, those I play with and against; being the best. I came close to becoming a lone-wolf, however as soon as Josh found out that I have been kicked for supposedly hacking, he began a conversation with me on the good ol' X-fire. It came as a surprise to me, but he invited me to join his team – Second 2 None, or 2n-Gaming (later 2n e-Sports). Of course, I accepted the invitation and I quickly joined the very best within the scene, competing side to side and against the biggest names in the scene.

The purpose of gaming carved the shapes of my actions, my thoughts and my attitude. Competition felt like a drug to me, and I was eager to improve and make a name for myself. Back then I played because of the purpose of gaming to me – becoming better and thus more important. Real life didn't really interest me, as people were dull and – of course – all idiots, so I did not bother with the RPG that is real life.

Life was the more realistic, but also the worse equivalent to me.

I discuss the role of gaming in our lives: can it play an important role; can gaming have a useful purpose? Here at Cadred we encourage love and bonding - Join the discussion, voice your opinions or comment on those of others.

This column is the sole opinion of the author and does not represent the opinion of Heaven Media Ltd or the opinion of any affiliates.

The purpose of gaming changed soon again. This time I focused on developing myself as an individual as well, via gaming. Developing teamwork with others, learning effective communication, taking the initiative and the lead – all kinds of nerdy shit. At the same time I was also passionate about psychology, namely about the working of the human mind and the human condition. Dealing with e-Sports drama taught me of many personalities, traits, characteristics and their effects, consequences, up and down sides. Many people became easily predictable to me, and so did their game – I ruled on and off the court.

On one instance a certain 'snapo', claimed to be a music producer; a big one, at that. We all listened and nobody really disagreed, except Josh who was messaging me via X-fire while snapo was talking. “Wanna know what I'll do with my first million?”, he said. “What?”, someone said with virtually zero enthusiasm. “I'll get myself a golden toilet-seat.” I shit you not, this music producer, the next-best-thing, was going to get himself a golden toilet-seat with the first million of dollars that he would make. When asked what purpose gaming served to him, he said something among the lines of: “It's just for fun, I play as a hobby, competition interests me. It's what I do off the court, when I'm not producing music”.

He was a kid with big dreams, albeit he sounded mature and came over that way most of the time, too. Experiences with people like him taught me the 'working' of people, I sort of gained understanding for actions done by my fellow humans; I recognized their motives straight away. Gaming was significant in my life, and only because I made it out to be. Purpose is what gives life a meaning, and as was – and still is – the case with e-Sports and gaming. Not much was happening in my personal life, and there weren't any opportunities or openings, and they weren't coming any time soon – gaming was a good equivalent.

It is evident that gaming only has a purpose if you give it one. At least, that's evident to me. Perhaps I am wrong, as I am very passionate about e-Sports and gaming, and thus my opinion might differ from the popular one. Sometimes I still wonder whether it's all really worth my while. Back then gaming was definitely worth it; I was at the very top of the NA scene, together with Josh. He always gave me the benefit of the doubt and helped me reach the top, along with others and himself. Second 2 None went on winning CEVO-P, topping CAL and TWL; we were second to none. And event after the team's collapse we continued, because gaming was still worth our whiles. Josh was joined on the journey by me, during which we spent a while playing for n2p – nothing to prove – and in the end went on to u5.

My name was known and my status was that of 'the best Euro to hit the NA scene'. Gaming was worth it because it helped me develop myself as a person, mainly due to all the interaction involved in competitive gaming – be it between your teammates, managers, opponents or even fans. I gave gaming a meaning, and in effect made it a big part of my life.

The European CS:S scene illustrated; a response to the much-anticipated series of updates and improvements that hit CS:S lately.

Lately gaming itself hasn't been worth my time, albeit the e-Sports world still interests me deeply; which is why I became an e-Sports journalist. The gaming scenes that interest me, such as the European CS:S and CS 1.6 scenes, are either dormant, either too dysfunctional and thus not enjoyable. I love e-Sports, and I love writing, so being a part of the e-Sports world is definitely worth the time and trouble to me.

The purpose I gave gaming was formed via goals, to which I tied my life. Basically improving my self in any aspect was part of the goals; outwitting people in matches would for example be a good practice to keep myself sharp. The goals came back in everything – teamwork, coordination, communication, endurance, self-control, willpower, etc. It might seem as if I tied my life to gaming, however I only tied a goal to gaming and I pursued it – gaming is just one of the things via which I attempt to achieve my goals, others being psychology, philosophy, and – of course – literature.

To me, gaming is not a waste of time even if you're not as skilled as others. For those who give gaming a significant meaning, a purpose, it is certainly not a waste of time – pursuing goals, or your passion are both great things to do; develop your self as an individual and live your life. For those who do not give gaming a bigger or deeper meaning, its all about fun – and what's wrong with having a little bit of fun once in a while?

What do you think about the purpose of gaming? Can gaming serve a purpose for those who are not a skilled as others in their game? More importantly, can gaming serve a – good – purpose at all; putting professional careers aside, of course. It's easy to let life deteriorate into making a living instead of making a life. It's not the hours you put in, but what you out into the hours that count. Do you think that gaming can serve a purpose that can help you make – or better – a life?