We take a butchers at the combatants for this weekend's Team Fortress 2 tournament at i40

This column is the sole opinion of the author and does not represent the opinion of Heaven Media Ltd or the opinion of any affiliates.

The gates have already opened for the early arrivals as I assembly this immaculate collection of words. I can picture all the diehards will be lining their stomachs in preparation for a heavy night of excessive drinking; well you wouldn’t want to sit with all those scary fuckers from the internet sober would you?

I’ll be spitting on the tarmac in Bristol airport sometime early tomorrow morning, as I set foot once again in the country that has oppressed my Emerald Isle for 800 years; Engerland. No hard feelings though, your attempts at winning international football competitions have brought me untold joy all my life, that makes us about even right?

Age old conflicts? Bitter rivalries? We have it all and more this weekend and the only casualties will be a few battered egos and pickled livers. The attendance of top teams might be a little underwhelming, notably the absence of Assembly hotshots, Power Gaming, but we more than make up for it with the huge numbers of attendees from across the UK and the European continent.

Oh and let’s not forget we have the top three teams as of July’s Cadred Top Ten, who are undoubtedly the three top performers from the last 6 months of European TF2. Although the golden era of the indomitable Team Dignitas might be over, its departure has heralded a new age of competitive equality where any one of the contenders can win on any given Sunday.

The Contenders

Team Dignitas

bybben, Darn, dunc, haza, Rebeli, ryb

In our post Assembly interviews Darn mourned the defeat to Power Gaming in the Finals, flagellating himself for a lapse in concentration and terrible calls which he pinpointed as the main reason for their silver place finish. Although revenge over Power will not be possible at this tournament, I expect nothing short of domination. Team Dignitas are the greatest LAN competitors ever to grace Team Fortress 2; their experience as a team is unparalleled. Online results may have been a mixed bag in recent months, but that will be an insignificant detail when they lift the cup on Sunday.

Prediction: Number 1 with a bullet

Epsilon eSport

cubeth, F2, Jh, Shintaz, Extremer, Wai

Last week on the MyGamingEdge podcast the Epsilon boys did their best to play down expectations for i40, billing it as a more casual event where they could pop their LAN cherry and get the camaraderie going; a stepping stone to future LAN success if you will. Do I believe it? Hell no! You know they will be giving it 110% when they hear the roar of the main stage crowd. Certainly, they have been pretty fucking dire online over the Summer period, particularly since Cube has been working like a Pole, but all the right elements are here now; the creativity of players like Cube and Shintaz, the raw aim of Extremer and the unflappable F2 at the at the helm.

Prediction: Serious second

TCM-Gaming

Byte, numlocked, skinnie, zerox, Springer, Coinz

Unfortunately TCM-Gaming will be without Haunter for the second LAN in a row, albeit with prior knowledge this time. Medic-of-old, Springer, will step in to the fold once again, freeing Byte from the healing duties who will once again wield the rocket launcher alongside the atomic Coinz. Many will question my choice to predict a third place finish for TCM-Gaming, not least TCM-Gaming, but I just feel they are holding the weakest hand of the three main contenders. It is no disrespect to the players; numlocked, skinnie and zerox are probably the most coherent attacking force in the game, but I feel the cracks may begin to show in the medic/soldier combo when the pressure mounts in the final stages. They have proven they can win online with this roster, but I just have to bait them with the threat of a bronze medal. Prove me wrong!

Prediction: Taunting third

Team TCM-Gaming - bronze for life (Source: coolclan.eu)

FakkelBrigade

Exfane, Arie, Fisshu, Mirelin, LoopeR, Beetle

FakkelBrigade made a right mess of things at i39 when that had that shit Irish guy medicing for them, missing out on six bronze medals and a giant novelty cheque that were rightfully theirs. Prospects are looking good then as Latvian legend, Mirelin, makes the trip over to the UK, allegedly flying cargo class to make it to the event. Well, that would be the case if the Dutch based outfit hadn’t taken the entire Summer off, neglecting to play in ETF2L or any other competition. Fan favourite, Exfane has been putting in the hours with Epsilon Esports as a stand in for Cube, so there will definitely be airshots, but will they trouble the top three? Dr. Leon’s late exclusion from the line-up due to studies has thrown a spanner in the works, with FB Green’s Beetle stepping in the fill the spot at short notice. Will they even finish fourth?

Prediction: A hesitant fourth

Team Empathy

kaidus, fle, vallone, crzfst, blind, MementoMori

After an eternity in Division 2, Empathy have surely learned a thing or two about playing the beautiful game by now. Their standard roster has been augmented for this event by Power Gaming’s vallone, perpetrator of what was perhaps the most epic backstab of all time at i39’s final. Obviously Team Fortress 2 is not the sort of game where one player can carry a side to victory, but his experience and strategic smarts may give Empathy the boost the need to compete with the big boys. Watch out for kaidus’ wrist-shattering deathmatching skills and fle’s underrated Turkish scout power.

Prediction: Fiesty fifth

The Dark Horses

In no particular order (or are they?) here are the rest of the teams you can expect to see produce some of the most intense matches of the tournament.

Shootin your Pixels

Evil, light, drJustice, Loco, AcidReniX, Beta

This mix consists of a handful of vintage players who don’t even play competitive Team Fortress 2 anymore, brought together by the legendary drJustice. The “Classic TCM”/WeMadeFux soldier pairing of Evil and light are reunited again, plus three former RAWR members, so things could potentially click. Already in some corners they are being hyped as contenders for the tournament, but the pragmatist in me doubts they can find the teamwork required to push the big names all the way. If they put in the hours this weekend they could easily take 4th place, but Starcraft 2 is a damn good game!

Twisted Play

Aveng, boomeh, cRzy, Inuy, Plumbed, SoniXzR

These guys never seem to stop scrimming and mixing, and as a result have progressed immensely since their early days. Previous LAN experience and tutelage from none other TCM-Gaming’s sublime demoman, numlocked, puts them in good stead against the vast majority of teams in the competition, but their lack of actual experience against top teams cannot be overlooked. Oh and before I forget, community pariah, 2D radar enthusiast and former TCM-Gaming player, boomeh, is playing for them; he’s a nice guy really.

i38: boomeh before the drama...(Source: coolclan.eu)

Vertex

fluffy, super, Anderson, thalien, mar, easy

Most striking about this Vertex LAN roster is the makeshift offense trio; former Power Gaming scout, fluffy, pairs with current K1ck scout and AA bodyshot master, Super, with the underrated Mar reigning explosive death as demoman. Mar is an accomplished and intelligent player who can hold his own against the best; if he can provide a solid foundation I fully believe Vertex can launch a serious challenge.

Red Eyed Jedis

Abunai, Kurj, Grem, pfm, sammage, they said, Tapley

I doubt there is a single person in the entire European community that would begrudge reJ a podium finish. They are a team of larger than life characters, infamous for epic trolling, a scintillating frag movie and the greatest LAN shirts of all time. They have played together for so long, I don’t doubt their ability to cause an upset or two, but the readily availability alcohol won’t be doing them any favours.

Although I started this article yesterday, I have since made it to the hallowed turf of Newbury, so come over and give my big forehead rub for luck. I’m the guy in the Pikachu hat...