Ella McConnell takes us through her top ten parts of Portal 1 now that sequel has been digested by most... Because we can legitimately call it Portal 1 now.

By this time Portal 2 will be done and dusted for many. Valve’s ongoing ARG whipped fans into a potato farming frenzy, those who pre ordered the game (or bought it after it came out) having easily devoured it before release day was over (myself included after having thoroughly convinced myself that I totally deserved a break from uni work). Personally I don’t even think that the Duke Nukem Balls of Steel Edition will be as eagerly seized on, despite the much longer pre release build up (13 years, in fact). One obligatory disclaimer: If you haven’t played the first Portal game (if not, why not?) then there’s definitely the risk of spoilers below.

10: Defeating your first turret

I don’t blame you.

In a game where you have no weapons, coming up against something that can blast you to pieces after a few seconds of sustained fire is pretty scary. No wonder, then, that you feel such a sense of triumph when you manage to overcome one of these chipper little death machines. Additionally, the sense of terror you experience upon first reaching the infamous turret pillar room (the one with the lovely sewage system at the bottom) is hard to replicate.

9: The outside world

What's going on out there will make you wish you were back in here.

I have an infinite capacity for knowledge and even I'm not sure what's going on outside. All I know is I'm the only thing standing between us and them. Well, I was.

Finding yourself lying in the blinding sunlight of the Aperture Science car park (and, following Valve’s Portal 2 lead up patch, getting slowly dragged away) after your cataclysmic battle with GLaDOS is pretty jarring, especially as the clinical environments in which you spend the majority of the game make you forget that the “real world” exists. What exactly is out here is only hinted at by GLaDOS, but considering you’re in the Half-Life universe it’s probably not too pretty.

8: The cake

You will be baked, and then there will be cake.

Apparently based on a real Black Forest cake from the Regent Bakery and Café in Redmond, Washington. Despite the much overused meme, it turns out that the cake was in fact not a lie; more fool you for not getting yourself some.

Even our own users are familiar with this cake..

7: Escaping Being Baked

All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin.

Rest assured that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence. Thank you for participating in this Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment activity. Goodbye.

If you managed to do this on the first try (you may laugh, but I’ve observed some people failing spectacularly) then the sense of relief is overwhelming. This feat ironically precedes what is quite possibly the longest part of the game, where you finally escape the claustrophobic confines of the Aperture test chambers.

6: First Getting Your Hands On The Portal Gun

Do not touch the operational end of the device. Do not look directly at the operational end of the device. Do not submerge the device in liquid, even partially. Most importantly, under no circumstances should you-

What you most likely came to the game for initially. The portal gun, as its name suggests, allows you to do what the title insinuated, opening a whole new facet of puzzle solving in the process. However, don’t get caught with a turret looking back through one at you.

5: The Final Fight

That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it. Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much! Do you want to marry it? WELL I WON'T LET YOU!

Relatively simple as boss battles go, but all the better for allowing you to focus on GLaDOS’s excellent taunting dialogue as a result. Whether dutifully destroying the personality cores (you can’t help but feel sorry for the Curiosity Core) or dodging a barrage of rockets, your final face off against GLaDOS showed you her at both her most vulnerable and her most vicious (makes sense, really). Did she succeed in guilt tripping you at the moment of her (apparent) demise?

4: The Weighted Companion Cube

There was even going to be a party for you. A big party, that all of your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come, because you murdered him.

Your faithful companion throughout Test Chamber 17. Unfortunately, you must euthanise it in the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator in order to progress, and no matter how long you spend trying to quash the guilt GLaDOS cheerfully informs you that you were the subject that destroyed the Cube the fastest. You monster.

Such a lovely cube

3: Still Alive

Look at me still talking when there's science to do. / When I look up there it makes me GLaD I'm not you.

The icing on the proverbial cake (yes, yes, we’re getting to that). You’ve been through all the test chambers and (so it would appear) finally escaped from Aperture and its AI-related mishaps. Then, quite without warning (unless someone spoiled it for you, of course), you’re serenaded by GLaDOS herself. Accompanied by awesome ASCII illustrations that compliment the performance perfectly, the first time you witness Portal’s credits there’s a definite sense of wonder involved (however, the subsequent times when your friends refuse to stop singing it are more likely to fill you with murderous, Anger Core-style rage).

2: The Rat Man’s Rooms

Though earth and man are gone. I thought the cube would last forever. I was WRONG.

The first of these is encountered in Test Chamber 16 behind a panel wedged open with a couple of weighted storage cubes, and makes you feel a genuine sense of excitement upon discovering it (even if this “Easter Egg” is clearly intentionally placed where you can see it). The haunting instrumental music triggered when you go inside just adds to the atmosphere as you look over his crazed scrawlings. Poor guy, having to cook his beans over hot PC components.

1: GLaDOS

Didn't we have some fun though? Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said “Goodbye”, and you were like “No way!” And then I was all, “We pretended we were going to murder you.” That was great.

It’s hard to do her justice in just a short blurb. GLaDOS (Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System) slowly becomes more sinister as the game progresses, her increasingly witty, passive-aggressive dialogue drawing the player through the test chambers before their eventual (and, as she herself proves, quite necessary) escape. Kudos to Ellen McLain for her excellent voice acting (and the technology that helped add the finishing touches).

More of Ella's crazed (and totally not fetish fuelled) ramblings can be found on Twitter; read at your peril.

Ella is a new addition to the Cadred.org team and, not unexpectedly, is an avid gamer. Despite claiming to generally favour the PC over consoles, she admits that she'd have a go on Gears of War 3 if given the chance. I mean, who doesn't want to be a neckless pile of man meat voiced by John DiMaggio?