As I traveled back to the hotel on the Metro I sat across from a beautiful woman. She was facially perfect in every way, the right bone structure, flawless skin, striking eyes. Yet she had one flaw that spoiled it all - a prominent moustache.

It was a tragedy, one of the nature's cruelest mistakes. I wondered if there was a man somewhere who hated that moustache but simply couldn't tell her to shave it because then other guys might hit on her, other guys better than him. The moustache was repulsive to him as much as the next person but ultimately it was a symbol of security. As long as it was there their relationship was safe.

Then it hit me... She had been sent by the cosmic forces of fate to give me the ultimate final metaphor for ESWC before I finally got some rest. Indeed, ESWC was a beautfiul woman in many ways but it also boasted a soup strainer that would have made Tom Selleck envious.



if that sounds like an image from an Aphex Twin video then you'll have to excuse where I am mentally as I type this. There is no denying that the event was bigger and better than last year's. It had more spectators, it had more tournaments and it had the style and swagger you associate with an ESWC event.

Behind that though there were problems for those who wanted to report on it. The press facilities were hugely flawed and the treatment handed out to people doing their job was not satisfactory. I know I didn't make any friends moaning about it day after day and many others in the press area though I was mad. I fought to get cables I need to do my job, I argued to be let into areas it made no sense were inaccessible, I caused distractions to get that extra five minutes in the press room because the tournament hadn't even finished and they wanted us to leave... With each fresh battle I could see the look in their faces. "It's him again they would think" before walking off and shaking their head, mumbling something in French.

Why do I do these things? It's because, whether you know it or not, a lot of e-sports fans get sold short every day. We're here to try and bring the event to you and it's something that everyone in e-sports should take seriously. It's not as if we're a massive industry. We need to keep the fans we have as well as bringing in new ones. It can't be all glitz and glamour and some of us simply aren't willing to sell out and jump on the next big thing. There's a good few of us who just want to do the job. There were a good handful there, colleagues I respect from South Korea, Australia and across Europe.

There are many that don't care. I watch "journalists" swan around events, barely working at all, content to bask in the glory of e-fame. Those lot don't mind if the facilities are bad because they had no intention of stretching themselves anyway. 500 words of uninspired copy here, a photograph there and it's straight to socialising and beers with the rest of the road crew.

I've done that, had a kicking for it (remember when PAY GONZO became FIRE GONZO round about i37?) but we'd got to the stage where it came easy because it was habitual. We'd got a tight team here who all knew how each other worked and event coverage worked. I can honestly say, with the exception of the one man mission to LAN79, this has been the hardest time, the tallest order.

This picture has NOTHING to do with the article but I vowed to use it since as Jonas took the last day off...

And we did it with a crew where two people were making their debuts on the site. Jonas was a nervous wreck but I made him do the interviews anyway... His reward for a hard week's work? Arrested and ravaged by flu, so much so he couldn't even come to the venue today. As for Tom, he goes home broke and broken after lugging thousands of pounds of equipment that weighed more than him to Paris and nothing to look forward to except trying to take it home. Credit where it's due. The boys done good. I hope you guys make them feel like coming back in future because I'm not sure I'll be able to.

The press are the people who tell the stories about the events and once an event is over the only thing you have are the stories, the strings of narrative that break away from something bigger that erodes over time. just help them out.

No point in brooding. We're all done. Nothing to do but kill time and wait in the hotel as the hours tick down and the flights get ever closer. Barely time to sleep. We leave at five in the morning before the three of us go our separate ways. Hopefully all of this has been worth it.

I'll be slipping into an oxygen tent closely followed by a coma on my return. When I wake up we'll get all the rest of the stuff we didn't have time to upload and the podcast we've been recording while we've been out here. Who knows when that will be? Until then keep it Cadred. Or something.